Screaming Yellow News: Ripped Off The Wires
EARTH DOOMED
Interstellar Bank Shot To Send Earth Into Corner Pocket
French astroscientists have released the results of a computer study that shows that there is one chance in thousands that an improbable series of celestial events could occur sending Mercury banging through the Solar System causing Venus or Mars to crash into the Earth sometime in the next 3.5 billion years.
Al Gore says the computer simulation proves his point that man is the culprit in the end of life on the earth. Without bizarre computer simulations showing improbable results through obtuse data there would be no planet-threatening scenarios that are so important to tabloid science journals.
The Nobel Prize-winning environmentalist, author, filmmaker and former politician has already called upon his supporters to donate funds to his foundation to combat the problem and force Mercury back into its orbit.
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