RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES COLUMN May 15, 2009

RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES
Items From Around and About by J. E. KITCHELL

May 15, 2009
· President Obama has changed his mind about ending the military tribunals slated for terror suspects, much to the dismay of his Democratic supporters. Hey, he promised change, didn’t he?
· General Motors will cut loose 1,100 dealers nationwide. The domestic automobile industry is in real trouble, losing dealers while imports flood into the country. The Miracle Mile is about to become the Miracle Kilometer.
· Sixty Senators voted No on a bill that would limit the amount of interest a credit card could charge consumers to 15%. The credit card companies may continue to make billions of dollars on high-interest consumer cards. That’s good news. We just can’t afford to bail out another industry.
· More bad economic news. The Social Security Trust Fund will run out of money no later than 2037 unless something is done immediately. The Congressional Budget Office suggested raising the retirement age. They figure if Americans put off retiring until they are 115...
· The White House is hard at work on the problem too. President Obama plans to change the meaning of the word ‘Trust’. From now on, ‘Trust’ will be defined as ‘a meaningless, random set of letters signifying emptiness and nothingness’.
· The British Government is reeling from a scandal involving the Prime Minister and others using government funds for internet porn. That’s one of the differences between Britain and America- their crooked pols come a lot cheaper than ours.
· The Republicans are attacking Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, trying to weaken her authority, and by extension the Democrats, by proving she knew all along that waterboarding was one of the interrogation techniques. Their goal is to prove the Democrats are just as guilty of lying, corruption and ignorance as the Republicans. Maybe the GOP should try to set their goals a little higher.
· It’s not like most voters don’t already know it. The only person who thinks a politician is pure, honest and honorable probably gave birth to him.
· The White House keeps sending Congressional Democrats the message that they should be looking forward instead of backward, but the Congress is not listening. Being handed the reins of power for them is like giving a kid the keys to the candy store. Next thing you know, you’re in a daze with goo leaking out the corners of your mouth and vowing never to do it again. 
· If it were up to the Democrats, they would have had Bush become President for Life just so they could beat him up forever. That was the one thing they all could agree on. 
· Former Vice President Dick Cheney request for transcripts of CIA interrogation briefings was turned down. He told them he didn’t want them for political purposes. He just wanted some light bedtime reading material.
· Former Vice President Al Gore tut-tutted Cheney for remaining in the political arena after leaving office, telling his listeners he waited two years before making critical remarks at the sitting administration. It must be noted that to this day no one has taken anything he has said seriously.