KOREANS/IRANIANS MAKING MISCHIEF

RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES
7:38 PM 5/25/2009
by J. E. Kitchell

North Korea tested a large underground nuclear device this weekend, causing concern in neighboring countries. The Japanese are especially shaken. First it was the missile test over the Sea of Japan and now this. Already the word is out that they are actively looking for Godzilla to come to their rescue.

President Obama issued a statement about the test. He told the North Koreans they need to stop their nuclear program immediately or else. It's not clear whether United Nations troops are ready for another war so soon after Iraq and Afghanistan. The contingent from Luxembourg played rock-paper-scissors to see with one of them will go.

The President also played the diplomatic card, offering President Kim jong ill a chance to spend a couple of days in the outdoors, in the hopes that by spending a little time together, tensions between the two countries would temper. Kim didn't fall for it, though. You don't have to be particularly paranoid to want to avoid quail hunting with Dick Cheney.

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi made a surprise visit to China this weekend. At least it was a surprise to her. All she said was she wanted to go out for a little Chinese on the way home. Leon Panetta swears there are transcripts of the meeting where dinner was discussed with the Speaker and Beijing was mentioned.. 

Pelosi might have actually been relieved to be out of Washington and the whole brouhaha with the CIA, but the Chinese delegation that met her was less than thrilled. Every time they started to translate what she said, she stopped them and clarified her statement. It took forty minutes to tell them to take her bags to her room.

Iran launched six warships into international waters, a first for the Iranian Navy. Their mission was two-fold: show the gulf states an example of Iranian power, and to protect Iranian cargo ships from pirates. Reactions were mixed. Israel claimed the move was provocative and aggressive and the country went on full alert. The Somali pirates carried on as usual, secure in the knowledge that no Navy Seal sharpshooters were aboard the vessels.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad challenged President Obama to a debate in the United Nations. He's just responding to Obama's invitation to sit down and discuss ways of reducing tensions in the Middle East. First, though, before they delve too deeply into the arcane intricacies of international trade, banking and diplomacy, they need to get past that little thing called wiping Israel off the face of the earth. It's a conversation-stopper.

The United States has lost some authority in the General Assembly of the U.N., but if anybody can restore America's place in the world, it's Obama. He has a secret plan to help him if he decides to meet Ahmadinejad. All he has to do to score points on the world stage is to make sure he and the Iranian President use the same lectern. Few things will dampen one's international credibility more than to have to stand tippy-toe to harangue and threaten.